The Queen Turns up Trumps

With all the hoo ha about THAT wedding later this week, I thought I should do a Royal blog. This is in spite of the great personal risk that I am taking of being thrown into the Tower for the rest of my natural days for revealing this exclusive on Her Majesty, The Queen, (my apologies Ma'am).

The run up to this exclusive began when I was a young child. I have never forgotten my beloved dad once telling me that the Queen, when out on royal visits, has a very special member of her household who always accompanies her and always walks just a little behind Her Majesty. My dad then went on to tell me that, should the Queen ever "do a frump", (his word for fart), she would never have to be embarrassed by it as this chap had the job of apologising loudly and claiming that it was him what did it.

Extending on his theme, my dad also told the gullible daughter, (me), that there was, employed at Buckingham Palace, an official, (trying to be delicate here), Royal "botty wiper" to the Queen. In other words, (in case you didn't catch on), Her Majesty didn't have to do this base task herself.

Skip to years later and I remained always totally uncertain as to whether my dad had been telling the truth, or whether he had simply been winding me up. So, when last year I had a chance encounter with "a source close to the Queen", of all the things I could have asked, guess what were my burning questions???

This is the answer I was given :

My dad lied to me about there being a Royal Botty Wiper. I have to say that I was strangely "relieved" to hear this! Now onto burning issue "number two", (sorry, I just can't help myself), the chap who walks behind the Queen just in case.

Guess what? Apparently my dad lied to me again. In fact, now I'm thinking about it, isn't Prince Phillip the chap who always walks behind the Queen???? Anyway, there's more..............
Much to my absolute delight, my inner circle source went on to share the following, s/he alleged that the Queen often "frumps" at the dinner table!

Since this revelation I have found myself viewing Her Majesty with much greater affection, knowing that we both have something in common.....

As a small additional insight into my life I thought I would just add that although I have never been to Buckingham Palace, I have been to a social gathering at Number 10 when Tony Blair was P.M. During the evening Cherie Blair came over to tell me how much she liked my frock (I was pleased, the damn thing cost a fortune). The first thing that struck me was what an attractive woman she is in real life, stunning!. Anyway, we got chatting and, me being me, I told her that my mum had asked me to report back on what colour the curtains were. Whilst I thought my mum's request was totally bizarre, Cherie immediately seemed to understand my mother's need and happily told me to wander around various rooms which we were using that evening and also advised me to get hold of the curtains and feel the weight of them! She also identified which windows in what room looked out over the garden and apologised for the mess created by the children's garden play things, she also told me where to look to see the snowman Tony had built for his youngest that day. I really think that this delightful and vivacious lady would have got on fabulously with my mum!

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